I was a fairly early adopter of Facebook, all the way back when I was eighteen in fresher’s week at University and after nine years, my friends, my views and my priorities have definitely changed. I’ve gone from posting pretty much every aspect of my day on there, to posting virtually nothing. I’ve recently been reacquainted with this thing whilst working on getting the Mum’s The Law Facebook Page up and running and I’ve realised just how much has changed and how much I dislike some of the Mums on Facebook.
Facebook, as a whole, makes me cringe. It’s almost like a morbid curiosity that I still hang around it like I do, just to have a look at what everyone else is doing with their lives and I think that is what it will always be for me on a personal level. I know of a lot of Mums on Facebook, some I’ve grown up with, others I’ve come to know quite recently. One is my own. For a variety of reasons, I find myself convulsing with rage, laughing in disbelief or rolling my eyes in despair at the things I find out about them through this website…
Posts about Fathers, Dads or the lack thereof – This is not a new phenomenon, nor is my hatred for it which is why it’s first on this list. You’ve all seen them ‘Any man can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a Dad’ or any variation of the same awful sentiment. I completely understand that some women will have a grievance with the father of their children, particularly if they aren’t together, but Facebook (or anywhere public, for that matter) is not the place to air it. No matter how legitimate it is, it just makes you look negative and hateful – not a good look for you OR your kids.
Posts about how hard being a parent is, single or otherwise – I know I’m not one yet, but I will be. I am under no illusion that this will be an easy ride and I will probably write a heap of posts about the bad days as well as the good. What I won’t do is post a status on Facebook telling the world I’m too lazy to get up on a school day. What I won’t do is tell everyone how I would LOVE a lie in for once. If I ever make a post saying I can’t wait for my kids to be picked up for a weekend away with my parents, please poke me with something sharp and pointy.
Statuses bashing schools, doctors, health visitors, work etc – This makes my blood boil. Sorry Facebook Mum, but you do not know better than your GP, your child’s school is not out to purposely victimise your son and your job is sacred and should not be jeopardised by your venting on one bad day. The thing I find worse than the people posting these are the people who reply and agree with the sentiments, no matter how ill-informed they are. These people are doing their best for you and your kids. Stop being such an ungrateful, immature fool.
Non-stop pictures of their children – This is controversial, I realise that. Thing is, when our child is born, this blog may mean we can’t escape the odd picture of him appearing on the internet. I’d like to avoid that as much as I can until he’s old enough to post them of his own accord rather than mine. However, I know that a lot of other people don’t share my opinion and feel that posting pictures of their kids on the internet is fine and I totally respect that.
What I don’t respect is entire albums of your child in the same place, just having moved a tiny bit and not doing much. Every single day. No. This is not acceptable.
Older Mums commenting on EVERYTHING their child posts – I used to be a victim of this. Younger me swore on a status. I was nineteen, in University, angry about something and I swore. Cue my mother, new to the Facebook game, immediately commenting on my vulgar language and scolding at me like I was a toddler. She has gotten better, but not by much and I find that older people on Facebook with kids around my age are all pretty much as bad as each other.
Every photo, every status has at least a like from them. Even the stuff that you’d never actually share with your parents in a million years under any other circumstances. Mums are always there to embarrass their older children by reminding them that they are also on Facebook and can see everything you post. Mum, I know you mean well and want to get involved… but come on, just text me next time.
Hang on Amy, there are Dads on Facebook too – why no hate for them?
Because they aren’t nearly as active on Facebook, or at least not in their capacity as a father. The worst you will get is a cute video of their child or a family photo of their day out. They do not abuse their place on my friends list by bombarding me with their children, their thoughts on their behaviour etc and I am actually grateful for that fact. They don’t ask for medical advice via Facebook status, they don’t ask about school’s half-term policy and they don’t post those stupid pictures that say ‘Share this if you love your children’, like it somehow validates them as a parent. Dads just don’t do that.
That and it’s father’s day in a week or so. Can’t be Dad-bashing around Father’s Day!
I know this isn’t all Mums, all the time. Far from it – but it’s just a selection of things that people do on Facebook that make me want to punch the computer screen. It’s absolutely nothing personal and not intended to offend. So don’t be offended (but if you are at least comment and let me know how wrong I am!)