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The Reason Bedtime Is The Worst Time

standard August 19, 2016 12 responses

I have an issue that I need to just air out here very quickly. I’m sure this is an issue that affects many parents that are desperately clinging to the tiny bit of sanity that one has at the dreaded hour known as “bedtime”. You’ve tried everything, two bottles, their favourite teddy bear, the CBeebies bedtime hour (because apparently one child in the UK somewhere actually goes to bed at 7pm). You’ve walked with them, rocked them, shouted, pleaded with them, ignored them, pampered them and still the noise continues. If your baby could shout, it would definitely be one of “I am not tired and I want to play”.

Your other half doesn’t want to know. They did the teatime feed and bathed the little critter to allow you your ten minutes peace to scoff your tea and have a cheeky brew. You can’t remember the last time you actually tasted food because by now you know that if it is on your plate, your child wants to eat it. You were given that ten minutes peace, because you both knew what was coming after the bath and they were not going through it again.

This isn’t the actual issue. This is just… parenthood.

The issue comes at one critical moment in the bedtime struggle. When you admit defeat, sit at the side of the cot or bed and you whip your phone out. Hurriedly, you tap the icon for the YouTube app. You don’t need to search, because it’s the only thing that is ever watched… spying that little blue freak and his equally weird mates, another part of you dies a little inside as you allow yourself to go through it again.

But you desperately need the peace and quiet it brings.

This is not the issue either.

The sadly familiar chiming and that odd breathy singing woman pipes up and immediately your child, who was flailing uncontrollably in their sleeping vessel, stops dead. You are the ruler of your own household once more, because In The Night Garden is your kingdom’s greatest ally and he’s saved your arse. Again. The little one knows not to fight them, lays down their arms and quickly assumes the proper bedtime position.

Five minutes. Five minutes until you can return to your living room and watch Great British Bake Off and decide which contestant Paul Hollywood is flirting with this series. The kid’s eyes are drooping and you almost allow yourself a mini fist pump, until suddenly the serene sounds of the Tittifers is abruptly halted.


Your moment of victory is shattered. The child immediately sits bolt upright, looking at you with eyes that can only say “What the hell, minion? Give me my sodding Tombliboos back”. Eyes that are now wide open. You can almost see the energy meter filling back up. You fumble the phone trying to figure out what on earth has just gone on.

This is the part where you see the issue.

Some sick, sadistic prick has put adverts into your precious bedtime saviour. Adverts that you cannot skip. Adverts that are invariably ten times louder than the video you are watching. Every four minutes. You mute the phone while the advert plays but the damage has already been done and the tiny human is back to their state of perpetual hyperactivity.

Who are these people? They are clearly not parents. They are twisted little people, painstakingly placing the adverts at the precise moment your child is ten more seconds away from sleep. That crucial beautiful moment where their eyes close for the last time. That’s where they put them and that is why every parent you ever see, is bloody knackered.

You, my horrible, advert planting spawn of Satan, are my issue. Parents have it rough at bedtime and your videos are an absolute last resort. The sign of an adult about to lose their mind completely and you push them over the edge.

You are the worst kind of YouTuber and collectively on behalf of all parents, I would just like to let you know that we hate you.

 *That’s not the advert, but you get the point.


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12 responses

  • Mud cakes and wine

    Oh the joys of bedtime, the witching hour at 5 all you want them to do is sleep please just sleep. Ha ha about the YouTube ads your very right #picknmix

  • Your post made me laugh. I remember those night-time fights so well with my children. Strangely, I don’t have a problem getting my grandchildren to sleep. I must have got more boring with age lol.
    You’re right about ads on YouTube though. They are the pits.

  • My children are complete weirdos in the world of children as they have had lie ins since they were small babies. Literally the only reason I can think of is heavy sleeper genes, they love bed as much as I do and can sleep through anything luckily!
    Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix 🙂

    Stevie x

  • Ah my daughter doesn’t use YouTube at bedtime but she has proper strops when the adverts come on and interrupt her crappy videos!! I wish they hadn’t bunged them on as it drives me flipping mad!!! Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst

  • Yup, I feel your pain. We don’t need YouTube at bedtime but there are plenty of other scenarios when it’s the only thing that works. I have solved the problem by following the steps I found on this website:

    That’s not my website so don’t ask me any follow up questions. I just Googled it and found that one to be the most helpful.

    That solved the YouTube issue. Now we have an app that poses the same problem and the above solution won’t work for that. No more relaxing mornings for mommy since Peachy goes bonkers every time an ad interrupts her game. You can read about our struggle here:

    Good luck. #bestandworst

  • I think it’s just another of those ‘sod’s law of parenting’ – if it wasn’t the adverts popping up just as the eyelids are drooping, it would be something else – the phone ringing, the doorbell, something being dropped in the kitchen….sigh! So it goes. #BestandWorst

  • Bedtime with our toddler can either be good or really bad! I try to read my kindle whilst waiting for her to go to sleep! Thanks for linking to #PickNMix
    Eilidh x

  • I’m laughing but annoyed with you because it’s happened to us too! Wretched YouTube!! Grrr!
    Popped over from #effitfriday

  • Oh I have not tried In the Night Garden as my night time savior (and I may not bother with the horrendous adverts) interesting…..

    Adverts on kids YouTube distress me at the best of times because of the whining they induce BUT MUMMY THIS IS NOT PJ MASKS….. No darling it isn’t, cmon cmon skip skip skip……

  • Wait till the little person gets into watching Stampey videos. Most annoying voice known to mankind, and theres no bloody adverts to give your eardrums a break.

    Great post.

  • Don’t use YouTube! We have the same battle with the cubs. You can’t teach a toddler that adverts are the price of copyright flaunting free content. I tried. Wasn’t pretty.

    Have you tried iPlayer?


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