So we’re less than three weeks from our due date and even though I’m still at work, this baby cannot come quick enough. We have known that we were expecting since November, so it’s a massively long time to wait to meet our little man and frankly I am now bored of being pregnant.
I can’t complain about the pregnancy. I’ve not been sick, I’ve craved nothing, I’ve not felt all that different and I haven’t even put on that much weight. It’s been ideal but now, I’m ready to not be pregnant anymore.
Here are my top five reasons why I can’t wait to go through the labour pains and welcome my baby boy to the world.
I am consistently being beaten up from within – He wriggled when he was 20 weeks gone and he continues to squirm and writhe about at the same rate and is now much bigger. Mostly it’s not painful, but it makes me feel really nauseous, in the same way those swinging pirate ships at theme parks induce an intense need to vomit. The worst thing is that it happens most when I want to sleep. Please baby, just calm down and realise that you’re stuck in there and you’re too big to practice your kickboxing!
TMI ALERT: I am always desperate for a pee and it’s not even satisfying when I go – I am now in a constant state of needing to pee, which I hate. It makes me lose my concentration when I need to get stuff done, it makes me have to disappear from meetings or events at the drop of a hat. When I get to the ladies’ and lock myself in, I’m rewarded with a test tube’s worth of pee and absolutely no relief whatsoever. I waddle out of the cubicle in the same way I waddled in, feeling uncomfortable and paranoid I’m going to have an accident.
MY BELLY BUTTON IS POPPING OUT – Yes, this required caps. I have always, since I can remember, found ‘outie’ belly buttons weird and now, as my bump inevitably grows and my baby becomes more and more engaged, I catch a glimpse of my very own tiny alien (complete with appendectomy scar) protruding from my navel. I accidentally brush it with my hand and instinctively repulse from my own body. I don’t like it. It needs to stop.
I’m waddling and it’s not the bump’s fault – It’s something that nobody warned me about, which is just how uncomfortable it is when your baby is engaged. When my legs, back and groin felt like I’d been in the gym for hours. It’s so stiff and painful and because of that, walking is a massive effort to the point now where I totally understand the benefits of the waddle. It’s the most comfortable way to travel whilst using my legs and I’m beyond the point of caring what I look like. I now have every sympathy when I see a fellow mum-to-be swishing from side to side as she walks to the shop. I feel your pain, sister.
I don’t like that my nickname of ‘Turtle’ is now justified – Getting out of a chair has been an issue for a while and Wes has likened me to a turtle on its back. It was just a cheeky dig at first because I had to groan whenever I rose to my feet, but now it’s completely justified because I can rarely do the most basic of things without assistance anymore. Want to close that window? Tough, you can’t reach because of your rotund belly. Want to get up out of that chair? Kick your legs for five minutes and we’ll talk. Want to get out of bed? You must plan your shuffling most carefully. UGH. I’m not a cripple, but to be able to get out of a chair without making a noise would make me so, so happy.
What did you find surprising about the last parts of pregnancy? Did you find yourself wanting to give birth as badly as me? Let us know in the comments what your experiences were like, we love to hear from you!